


Hurting Illusions

by tatersalad5001



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3486779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatersalad5001/pseuds/tatersalad5001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by this prompt: http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/post/111831591830/imagine-that-in-canon-universe-your-otps-first<br/>Re:Coded AU where Data Roxas doesn't show up in Castle Oblivion right away. It's the AU no one ever asked for and the AU no one will ever need.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hurting Illusions

**Author's Note:**

> Don't mind me I haven't written anything good in over a year

Alone.

The digital replica of Sora found himself alone in a white room. A large white room, big enough to be in a castle. In front of him stood a doorway up a small flight of stairs. There was something on the floor in front of the door, but he was too far away to see it.

There was no one here to greet him, like there had been in Traverse Town. He was alone-- even Mickey, the companion he’d met not only a minute ago, was gone. He’d come to this castle in search for the truth; the boy wasn’t sure what he was looking for exactly, but Mickey had said it was important, it was something he needed to know. That itself had him curious, and Mickey’d needed his help, so now he was here.

But...what to do now?

The only thing that seemed obvious to do was approach the door, see what was on the ground, and then go through it. Taking a moment to look around again, Sora didn’t see anything else to do, really… there didn’t even seem to be a way outside of this place. With a nod, he ran up the stairs and bent down to examine what was on the floor.

It was...a card. A black card with a diagonal pattern at the top, and a picture in the middle. That picture almost looked like...his home, Destiny Islands. What was that supposed to mean? He picked up the card to examine it. As he did so, there was a bright light, and the door opened. Everything seemed to fade…

* * *

Something was off.

The people in that room had definitely been his friends from the islands. It was strange, they seemed to think whatever this place was was their home, but it was good to see them. Sora smiled, remembering--

...Remembering what? What did he just do? Who were the people he just saw? There was...they were...they were his friends. Who were they again? The hero groaned out loud. Come on, Sora, think! You just saw them a minute ago!

He shook his head. Whatever happened in that room, his memory was completely blank… It was like it never happened at all. Or...was it? Something had changed. He could feel something in his chest. Heavy and painful...some sort of glitch? It didn’t seem like that was the case. He just...missed them, whoever had been in that room.

Sora looked around, trying to figure out where he was. Back in that first room, it seemed. This must be some kind of entry hall. Why was he back here? Nothing in the room seemed to have changed. The card he found earlier was gone, but it had been replaced with a bigger pile of cards, again in front of the door.

He approached them and picked them up to examine them. The pictures on these cards were completely unfamiliar this time. He didn’t recognize these places. Hesitantly, he held a card up to the door. Once again, there was a bright light as the door opened. It felt like everything was disappearing…

* * *

Once the light faded, Sora found himself alone in the entrance hall, like usual. The pain in his chest was even stronger now; how much more would it take for him to reach his limit? Everything that just happened, the people he’d met, were gone from his memory, just like before. It was almost like he never walked up to the door in the first place.

...Or was it? If he’d never tried to use these cards, this hole in his chest never would have appeared. There’d be no one to miss, no reason to hurt. Was it really worth it, then? Why should he keep going if this was all he was left with? The hero wasn’t sure if there was an answer to that.

Looking down, he saw in his hand one last card-- a place that didn’t look familiar at all. It looked like a giant castle, similar to the one he was in, maybe. There didn’t seem to be any other cards around; was this the last one? He hoped so.

“...But should I even use it?”

“There you are, Sora! Sorry to make ya wait!”

He turned to see Mickey running up to him, finally joining him in the strange castle. The mouse started to explain he’d just figured out how to get here, he would’ve come sooner if he could have, but Sora waved him off.

“It’s alright. You got here as soon as you could, right?” the boy flashed him a smile and held the card out for him to see. “I’ve got this card… what do you make of it?”

The King recognized it immediately from his past adventures. It looked exactly like the ones from Castle Oblivion, even the picture resembled that very place. If this card was anything like those, it would be used to open doors and progress through this world. He looked back up at Sora and returned his smile.

“Well, we won’t know until we try it out, right?”

“...I don’t know…” Sora replied, holding the card up to look at it himself. “I’ve been using these cards here, but every time I do, this empty feeling in my chest gets worse. I feel like I’m...forgetting something important.” There was a frown on his face, he seemed to be hesitating over every word. “I’m not sure if I should use this.”

Mickey sighed and shook his head. “Gosh, Sora, I really wish I’d gotten here sooner. I’m sorry you had to go through all that alone. But whatever happens when we use that card, I’ll be right beside you. I’ll be there to help with any more hurt you have to go through.” He held his hand up towards him. “So whaddya say? Wanna give it a try?”

Sora hesitated for a moment, then nodded and grabbed his hand. “Yeah, let’s do it.” Together, the two walked up to the door. One last time, Sora held up the card he had, and a flash of light took the two into the room the card led to.

After a minute, the light cleared, and the duo found themselves in a mostly empty white room. In the middle seemed to be some sort of giant pod. There wasn’t a sound in the room, they seemed to be alone. With nothing else immediately obvious that they could do, they walked up to the pod to get a closer look.

“...You’re still hurting, aren’t you?”

Sora and Mickey turned around to see a small girl behind them. She was shorter than Sora, and wearing a plain white dress and with blonde hair falling over a shoulder. Mickey recognized this person immediately, while Sora seemed more puzzled.

“You haven’t yet figured out how to deal with the hurt you’ve gained here... so you’re just carrying it inside of you, waiting until you can figure out what to do. That...won’t lead you anywhere. If you don’t do anything, the hurt will just eat at you, growing until there’s nothing else left.”

“Who are you?” Sora asked. “What are you talking about?”

The girl frowned for a small second before she forced a smile on her face.“I’m sorry, let me introduce myself. I’m Naminé...you don’t know me, but I know you.”

“Let me explain,” the King added. “There was a time, Sora, when you lost many of your important memories. Naminé here helped put them back together.”

Sora folded his hands together behind his head and smiled. “Really? In that case, I should thank you!”

Naminé shook her head. “It may be true that I fixed your memories...but I’m the one who changed them in the first place. You have nothing to thank me for. And as for your other question…” She walked past the two, up to the giant pod, and turned again to face them. “This world was added to the journal so you could learn how to face hurt. Something must have gone wrong...you shouldn’t have been able to get here until you were able to do that.”

“Huh?” The boy tilted his head to the side. “But I did get here, didn’t I? So isn’t that a good thing?”

She wasn’t sure about the answer to that question. This world was programmed so that Sora could only use the card to her room once he was able to deal with hurt. At least, that was the intention when she was added into the journal. This must be some kind of glitch, or a bug of some sort. Instead of giving an answer, she posed a question of her own: “Why do you hurt?”

“Huh? Why do I hurt? That’s easy!” Sora brought his hands back down to his sides. “I met people here, in the different rooms. But as soon as I left, I forgot about them.” There was a frown on his face, he was starting to think. “I couldn’t have forgotten completely, though…if I did, I wouldn’t feel anything. Something’s still there.”

“Yes.” Naminé nodded and gave him a small smile. “Something in your memory’s missing. But your heart still remembers what it’s like to be with them. You can erase a memory, but not a feeling. That’s where the hurt comes from.”

“That’s right!” Mickey had been silent for awhile, taking all this in for himself and figuring it out, but at that comment he eagerly looked up at Sora. “When we met in Traverse Town, you weren’t able to remember me. But you still felt like ya knew me, didn’t ya? You must still remember what it feels like being with those people ya met, too!”

Sora was quiet for a minute, he couldn’t process it all immediately. What exactly did that mean, then? He hurt because part of him still remembered? He’d stop hurting if he completely forgot, but… “So if part of me still remembers, will I be able to get the rest of my memory back?”

“That depends.” The girl took a step back and reached over to grip tightly onto her other arm. “You have a choice to make, Sora. What do you want to do with this hurt? You can let it go, decide that you won’t be able to remember, that it’s better not hurting anymore, and give up any hope of reclaiming those memories. Or you can hold onto it and accept it, not letting it take you over, but allowing it to remind you of what you’ve lost, and use that reminder to try to remember again someday. There’s still hope of that; part of you still remembers.” Her face turned away from them. “What will you choose?”

A grin overtook his face. “If I can still remember, there’s no way I’m giving up! I’ll hold onto this until the day I remember again, no matter how long it takes.”

Naminé smiled again, looking up at him. “I’d hoped you’d decide that. But if you’re going to hold onto it, you need to face it head on, and accept it. Hurt like this can’t be brushed away... It’s too much to just hold on to, and sometimes, it’s too much to even face yourself. You’re lucky, Sora, you have good friends. If it’s too much, you can always turn to them to help you.”

“Don’t worry, Naminé.” The hero nodded. “I’ll face it myself, I promise. I won’t do it alone, either. Like you said, I’ve got friends who can help me! They’ll always be there to help, just like I am to help them.”

“Good. I’m so glad. You’re ready, then.” She let go of her arm and held her arms out in front of her. “The real Sora, he has hurt inside of him, too...” A small, glowing orb appeared in her hands, casting a pale light over her. “These are memories, which come from Sora. They’re painful memories...from hurting people.”

The two leaned in closer to look. “So these are Sora’s memories?” the mouse asked.

“Not quite...that’s the troubling part.” Naminé began to explain to them about the memories inside of Sora that weren’t his, but belonged to people connected to him. The people these memories belonged to were hurting, and only the one connected to them, Sora, could save them. He’d have to call these memories up and experience them himself to do that, however, and these memories were painful...so painful, they could even break his heart if he wasn’t careful. He wouldn’t be able to do it alone.

Sora assured her that he could handle these memories, and Mickey promised that he would be there to help Sora, too. Naminé, relieved, knew they were ready and allowed them to see the memories. The two saw seven mostly unfamiliar people, including Naminé herself, who, while they didn’t really know them, they could see their hurt for themselves. The last three people they saw Mickey recognized right away as old friends, whose lives had been ruined by someone else’s plans. These seven people were connected to the real Sora, and could still be saved by him.

* * *

“...Then what happens to you now?” Sora asked later on. “The you right here?”

Naminé folded her hands together. “I’m really just data made to pass along a message. I shouldn’t...exist right now in this journal at all. And now the record of me will disappear.” A frown lingered on her face for a moment, before forcing itself into a bright smile. “But when I’m gone, make sure you tell the real Sora about the things you saw, and the things you felt. Then we’ll be at rest-- her, and me, too.”

Sora nodded. “Alright... But before you go, I have a message for you, too... Thank you!” He grinned, finally delivering the message written out in the empty journal over a year ago.

The girl was surprised, her smile softening into something more genuine. Her whole body began to glow with a bright light as her data prepared itself to be removed from the datascape.

“So you finally know how to deal with hurt...but do you understand it?”

The voice was completely unexpected. Naminé gasped and turned to look at something behind her, but before she could see it, she disappeared into a large white pillar of data, and then there was nothing there. She was gone.

Out from behind the giant pod emerged a figure in a black coat, larger than Sora. For half a  second, the hero almost thought it was Riku, but it was clear from his voice and what little he could see of the person this wasn’t his best friend. Mickey tensed up, recognizing the outfit and what it could mean, but this stranger was ignoring him. He was only focused on Sora.

“Understand it? Of course I do.” Sora stepped forward to confront the person. As soon as he left Mickey’s side, a barrier formed itself in front of the mouse, preventing him from interfering. “I felt it for myself.”

The person in front of him laughed, clutching at his head to try to get a hold of himself. “You mean forgetting those fakes? You think _that’s_ real hurt?! You don’t know anything at all, do you?”

Sora’s hands curled into fists. It wasn’t like him to get so...angry at a complete stranger, but whoever this was, they knew the right buttons to push. “What are you talking about? Fakes…Sure, I don’t remember them, but they’re just as real as anyone is...as real as you are!”

“Real…” The stranger composed himself and let out a sigh. “You really don’t get it. The people you saw here...they weren’t real at all. They’re illusions...just data made from more data. There wasn’t a real thing about them.”

The boy shook his head. “You’re wrong! I remember that I met them, and I remember feeling….happy. Those memories and feelings are real. That means they have to be real, too.”

“You’re hopeless.” The person began to approach him. “The hurt you felt in this castle is nothing. You don’t know _real_ hurt. Stop acting like you understand, like you have all the answers now. You don’t.”

“And who are you to judge? You don’t know what I felt. You didn’t feel it. What gives you the right to make that call?”

The figure laughed again, quietly this time. “I guess...you’re right. But the reverse is also true, isn’t it? You don’t know what I’ve felt, either.” They stopped walking and tilted their head down to stare at him. “Your so-called hurt is nothing… Make no mistake, I know what I’m talking about.”

Sora took a step back, relaxing a little. “You’re hurting, too, aren’t you…?”

“I don’t need your pity!” Their hands twitched a bit, almost trying to grab onto something that wasn’t there. “I don’t want it. That’s _not_ what I’m here for. You don’t really understand hurt...and if you think _you’re_ really hurting, you never will!”

“If that’s what you think...then show me. Show me what you’re talking about. You say I don’t understand, but… I won’t, if you don’t.”

The person grinned. “Since you so kindly asked…”

The scenery around them started to change, their new surroundings seeming to spill out from the person’s coat. It almost looked like they were in a dream Sora had, not too long before he arrived in the castle. That couldn’t be right, though...whoever this was, they hadn’t been there. Sora had been alone. And he wasn’t dreaming now, he couldn’t be.

The figure’s arms flew out as they summoned two keyblades, one in each hand. Two keyblades...Sora had to wonder just who this was. He only had a second to do so, however, since he quickly had to summon his own keyblade to block a direct attack.

This person was fast. Sora couldn’t actually see them move, they almost seemed to teleport around the area. They easily got some hits in, slicing at him before he could even see them coming. Sora himself was struggling to keep up and land an attack or two. It was clear basic attacks wouldn’t work on an enemy like this.

After a while of just attacking each other with their keyblades, the two combatants backed away from one another. Sora began preparing for a powerful attack, while the other began one of their own. Slicing a keyblade through empty air, they created three large pillars made purely of light, moving straight towards Sora. The hero dodge rolled away at the last second and threw his keyblade at the enemy, making it spin through the air. The keyblade split into three and began to shine with a light of their own. All three were aiming towards the mysterious enemy, who seemingly disappeared before hitting Sora from the side, the keyblades missing him completely. They recombined back into one and appeared back in Sora’s hand.

This was no longer a fight of merely brute strength, both were using their most powerful spells as well. This was the toughest enemy Sora had ever faced, he wasn’t going to mess around. The two wore each other down, slowly but surely.

In a last act of desperation, the figure flung themself in the air and started firing huge beams of light all around the area. Sora ran around to dodge them, but the figure managed to hit him with one of the last ones. The boy stumbled back and fired off a homing blizzard spell at his enemy as he fell to the ground again, relieved to see the spell hit.

The two were transported back to the castle suddenly, in the same room as before, where Sora and the King had spoke to Naminé. Both were breathing heavily, exhausted, and the person was struggling to keep themself standing up.

“...What are you waiting for...Sora? Hurry up and finish me off…”

Sora didn’t say a word. He allowed his keyblade to disappear and watched the other silently.

“Ah...I get it,” the figure said, their mouth twisting into a smile. “You’ve seen through my disguise. You said it yourself...those you forgot are just as real as I am.” Their tone began to grow bitter. “...You were right. The people you met here were just illusions...and I’m no different. No sense...heh, destroying what never existed, right? I’m not worth the effort...is that it?”

“It’s not that.” Sora shook his head. “For someone who says they’re not real...you certainly packed a punch. “But not just that...I could feel the hurt coming from inside you, too. Being betrayed by your best friend...forgetting the most important person in the world...not even knowing who you are...you’re one of those people, aren’t you? Those people Naminé showed me that were hurting...the ones the other me needs to save.”

The other person sighed and allowed their own keyblades to disappear. “Naminé….I don’t know what you’re talking about there, but… It looks like you understand. In that case, my job is done.” They pulled their hood down, finally showing their face, and nodded at Sora. “Congratulations, Sora, you understand hurt.” His tone was far from congratulatory, it sounded frustrated more than anything.

“So...what’ll happen to you now? You said your job’s done...what’s next?”

He laughed a bit. “Doesn’t matter...I wasn’t supposed to exist here in the first place. But, there’s one place...I think I’d like to be.”

Sora took a step back as the person began walking towards him again. He seemed to walk right through him, but once he reached Sora, he disappeared. New memories suddenly flooded into his mind, ones that weren’t his, but must’ve belonged to the other. The boy almost fell down from shock, his pain in his heart growing twice as heavy, even more, as Roxas’ pain added to his own.

“It’s alright...you can rest easy. I can hold onto the hurt for both of us.”


End file.
